My Relationship With Self-Love

My teenage years were awful — there’s no doubt about that. Not through anyone’s fault.

I just didn’t love myself.

My doubts loved to make themselves known and they made sure I listened. I stayed in bed most days and refused to go to college — I was depressed.

I used to be ashamed, but now I ask myself, why was I ashamed?

Because having depression has actually taught me a lot about myself and others.

Self-love and I have never been best friends.

For some reason (and like so many others), I find it hard to love myself. I always critique myself or my work. I listen to the harsh voice in my head a little too much. I point out my negatives and ignore my wins.

But — I’m working on it.

Because life is so much more than the ‘bad things.’ I am so much more than my ‘bad things’.

Life won’t stop for you to get your crap together and love yourself. Life is short. Life can be relentless. Life can throw shit at you and expect you to carry on as normal. Life won’t stop for you to get yourself together.

That’s the hardest thing I’ve learnt. That I spent so much time disliking myself and then I realised years had gone by.

Years that I could have spent finding my life’s purpose.
Years that I could have spent finding the good in things.
Years that I could have spent working towards my goals.
Years that I could have spent loving myself.

Am I going to be sad about this fact? No.

Because the time I have got now will be spent doing all of those things. Sure, I have and will still have bad days. Bad days where I stay in bed. Or cry a lot. Or don’t talk to anyone. And that’s ok.

Because I know how to pick myself up now.I know when to stop listening to my harsh voice.

I know when to find the good things.

And I think I now know how to love myself.


Thank you for reading and please let me know if you are trying to grow and love yourself - I really hope you will try :)