Body Confidence
First of all, I wanted to mention that this blog is in collaboration with the lovely Alex from thedaysofdaydreaming, you can find her very inspiring blog post here. I think the series that Alex has created is a great idea and hearing other peoples stories on body confidence is a lovely way for it to be discussed more. In this post I am going to talk a bit about my struggles with body confidence, and overcoming it, and also answering Alex's questions (if you want to answer them to, you can find over on her blog). Enjoy!
I have struggled with body confidence for quite a while. If i'm being honest, it actually started in Primary School, when I was around 7 or 8. This basically started because I got bullied, which, when I look back on it, I can't believe this was happening at such a young age, but sadly it did. This really didn't help me with my self esteem, obviously, and I think it just stemmed from there. When I then went to Secondary school, I wasn't bullied, but I was shy, anxious and very self conscious. I always compared myself to others, and wondered why I couldn't look like them. I didn't get much interested from boys when I was younger, so I thought that once again, this was my own fault. (News flash 15 year old me - IT ISNT YOUR FAULT!).
College was also a hard time, where I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere, and constantly felt anxious. I didn't feel pretty and I felt very low during this time. It is so easy to let other peoples words and your own past experiences affect you when your older, as the damage is already done, but I want to tell you that it is possible to overcome it. Totally possible. The first thing I did, which I still work on to this day, is stop comparing myself to people. You do not need to compare yourself, you are beautiful just the way you are, even if somedays you don't feel like that. My boyfriend has helped a lot to, as he always says he loves me for who I am, how I look, my perfections and imperfections and the lot!! This is how I think we should also look at ourselves - as if you were talking to someone you love, a friend, a family member, a boyfriend or girlfriend. Treat yourself how you would treat others and learn to love yourself, take a small step at a time, but start telling yourself how amazing you are and you will start to believe it. It just takes time. Anyway, I will stop rambling now and answer these questions, I hope this may have helped you, even a little bit and I encourge you to sit down and answer these questions too, it doesn't have to be publicly, but to yourself, you'll be amazed at what positive things you actually think about yourself ( and rightly so, too!).
What makes you feel good about yourself?
Personally, when I surround myself with people who lift me up, make me laugh and are positive people. It's crazy how your environment can change the way you feel. I also love dressing up, wearing whatever I want, and doing glam make up occasionally! It's good to dress up sometimes, and I always feel really confident :)
Do you feel pressured to look a certain way?
Yes. Everywhere you look now, the media are shoving the 'perfect body' down your throat. At the train station, bus stops, magazines or on the TV. However, I don't feel like i'm pressured anymore, because I don't care. We shouldn't be made to feel we need to look a certain way, your body is your body and it's perfect if you love yourself and treat yourself right.
How would you like to improve your body confidence?
I would like to wear whatever I want and not care what anyone thinks, that is my main issue. Worrying about people looking at me, or thinking I look horrible, when in reality - no one cares! For example, I was shopping the other day and a girl was looking at me, I instantly thought 'Do I look funny, is my makeup rubbish...', but she came right up to me and said how pretty my dress was and could I tell her where I got it from! Trust me, people aren't as bad as we think they are.
Has anyone else made you feel insecure about your body?
Yes, bullies at school constantly reminded me of my insecurities. BUT, I have overcome it, accepted it and learnt to love myself, which I think is the biggest F YOU you can give to them.
Has your body confidence every stopped you from doing anything?
Yes, I remember having a melt down because I couldn't find anything to wear that I thought I would look nice in and ended up missing a family party while everyone else went. Yep, a family party! Usually, the most unlikeliest people to judge me, and that makes me sad thinking about how I missed it. I vouched to never let my body confidence stand in my way again.
How do you deal with a day of low body confidence?
I normally would pamper myself, with a face mask and do my nails. I also love makeup, so sometimes I will create a new look for the day and take more time on my makeup. I try and remember the good things about myself, and how no one else is bothered by how I look.
Is there anything that you could add or remove from your life to make you more body confident? Why?
I think right now, there isn't. I am doing really well in that respect, however the media's views on body confidence would be a good thing to remove!! I think it would save so many girls from going downhill and experiencing low self confidence. We don't need to be told what the perfect body is, what even is perfect, it doesn't exist. You are beautiful, and thats all you need to know.
Thank you so much for reading. If you want to be a part of this series, then get in touch with Alex. Leave a comment below on your favourite thing about yourself so that we can spread some positivity :)
Jessica
Follow me on TWITTER or INSTAGRAM
I have struggled with body confidence for quite a while. If i'm being honest, it actually started in Primary School, when I was around 7 or 8. This basically started because I got bullied, which, when I look back on it, I can't believe this was happening at such a young age, but sadly it did. This really didn't help me with my self esteem, obviously, and I think it just stemmed from there. When I then went to Secondary school, I wasn't bullied, but I was shy, anxious and very self conscious. I always compared myself to others, and wondered why I couldn't look like them. I didn't get much interested from boys when I was younger, so I thought that once again, this was my own fault. (News flash 15 year old me - IT ISNT YOUR FAULT!).
College was also a hard time, where I felt like I didn't fit in anywhere, and constantly felt anxious. I didn't feel pretty and I felt very low during this time. It is so easy to let other peoples words and your own past experiences affect you when your older, as the damage is already done, but I want to tell you that it is possible to overcome it. Totally possible. The first thing I did, which I still work on to this day, is stop comparing myself to people. You do not need to compare yourself, you are beautiful just the way you are, even if somedays you don't feel like that. My boyfriend has helped a lot to, as he always says he loves me for who I am, how I look, my perfections and imperfections and the lot!! This is how I think we should also look at ourselves - as if you were talking to someone you love, a friend, a family member, a boyfriend or girlfriend. Treat yourself how you would treat others and learn to love yourself, take a small step at a time, but start telling yourself how amazing you are and you will start to believe it. It just takes time. Anyway, I will stop rambling now and answer these questions, I hope this may have helped you, even a little bit and I encourge you to sit down and answer these questions too, it doesn't have to be publicly, but to yourself, you'll be amazed at what positive things you actually think about yourself ( and rightly so, too!).
What makes you feel good about yourself?
Personally, when I surround myself with people who lift me up, make me laugh and are positive people. It's crazy how your environment can change the way you feel. I also love dressing up, wearing whatever I want, and doing glam make up occasionally! It's good to dress up sometimes, and I always feel really confident :)
Do you feel pressured to look a certain way?
Yes. Everywhere you look now, the media are shoving the 'perfect body' down your throat. At the train station, bus stops, magazines or on the TV. However, I don't feel like i'm pressured anymore, because I don't care. We shouldn't be made to feel we need to look a certain way, your body is your body and it's perfect if you love yourself and treat yourself right.
How would you like to improve your body confidence?
I would like to wear whatever I want and not care what anyone thinks, that is my main issue. Worrying about people looking at me, or thinking I look horrible, when in reality - no one cares! For example, I was shopping the other day and a girl was looking at me, I instantly thought 'Do I look funny, is my makeup rubbish...', but she came right up to me and said how pretty my dress was and could I tell her where I got it from! Trust me, people aren't as bad as we think they are.
Has anyone else made you feel insecure about your body?
Yes, bullies at school constantly reminded me of my insecurities. BUT, I have overcome it, accepted it and learnt to love myself, which I think is the biggest F YOU you can give to them.
Has your body confidence every stopped you from doing anything?
Yes, I remember having a melt down because I couldn't find anything to wear that I thought I would look nice in and ended up missing a family party while everyone else went. Yep, a family party! Usually, the most unlikeliest people to judge me, and that makes me sad thinking about how I missed it. I vouched to never let my body confidence stand in my way again.
How do you deal with a day of low body confidence?
I normally would pamper myself, with a face mask and do my nails. I also love makeup, so sometimes I will create a new look for the day and take more time on my makeup. I try and remember the good things about myself, and how no one else is bothered by how I look.
Is there anything that you could add or remove from your life to make you more body confident? Why?
I think right now, there isn't. I am doing really well in that respect, however the media's views on body confidence would be a good thing to remove!! I think it would save so many girls from going downhill and experiencing low self confidence. We don't need to be told what the perfect body is, what even is perfect, it doesn't exist. You are beautiful, and thats all you need to know.
Thank you so much for reading. If you want to be a part of this series, then get in touch with Alex. Leave a comment below on your favourite thing about yourself so that we can spread some positivity :)
Jessica
Follow me on TWITTER or INSTAGRAM
Interesting post! I also struggle with my confidence because I'm skinny and my classmates bullied me because of that. I'm trying to accept myself more and more. 💖 Thank you for your inspiring post!
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see that there's more attention going to body confidence in a 'real' way (opposed to the more 'fake' way of magazines, on one page telling you you're perfect the way you are and the other page telling you all the things you'll need to change about yourself to become a 'better person').
ReplyDeleteAlthough I still struggle with this, I think I've gotten better with just going with the flow, so to speak. Sometimes you hate everything and sometimes nothing seems a big deal and you riducule yourself for making everything a big deal. I guess I 'love myself' the most when either being in awe of HOW our body works and how weird it is and how, you know, how could this thing I call my body ever work like this. And naturally when I take a really good picture of myself (oh vanity, the real drive behind self acceptation). ;)
Love,
Dominique
www.fashionedbypluche.blogspot.com
I guess it's important to remember that we all have moments were we feel insecure about the way we look. It really is so sad that bullying over something like this starts at such a young age.
ReplyDeletehttp://ohduckydarling.com